Not the title you would think right? Especially looking at the watch in the picture. The Parmigiani Tonda PF Micro Rotor in the blue agave dial.
Don't get me wrong, this is an incredible watch. The agave blue dial, the platinum bezel, and most importantly THAT BRACELET. Having struggled with my first true integrated watch - the Yema Wristmaster Slim (pictured below), I was wary of the 40mm dimensions and whether the bracelet would drape around my curved wrist. Full credit to Parmigiani's craftsmanship: the articulating links on the bracelet wrapped seamlessly around my wrist, with no gaps or overhangs. Something the Yema couldn't manage no matter what I tried.
I digress though. This watch made me ill because it was the most expensive watch I had ever bought. Ever. Even with the watches I traded in, it barely made a dent in the final price tag. Taking out my card to pay for it, I was shaking on the inside. It was an out-of-body experience for lack of a better word. Even when I opened the box when I got home and put it on my wrist, the tension in the pit of my stomach increased.
I have worn the watch a few times since owning it and my favorite memory was when I went to the Breitling boutique and one of the sales associates almost cried when he glanced at this watch. He even told his colleague to wear gloves when handling it! I'd never seen anything like it - maybe because I know people who own far more expensive watches than these so they don't react in the same way.
After that encounter, I will admit, I felt a little uneasy. That this watch was too big for me - that I wasn't worthy of owning this incredible piece. That by wearing it, I was being a show off. There was also a brief moment where I thought of taking it back and trading it in for something else. I guess what I am trying to articulate is that collector's impostor syndrome is real. That lingering feeling that certain pieces aren't meant for you, or that you haven't "earned" them. I don't know if that feeling ever fully goes away, but I hope it doesn't stop me from enjoying a watch that was once just a dream.